clientsfromhell:

Client: It’s been a week [since the initial meeting]. We’re checking in to see what progress you’ve made.

Me: I’m sorry, I still don’t have a signed contract or deposit from you. Did you put them in the mail recently?

Client: You haven’t started yet?

Me: No, I can’t begin work without a signed contract.

Client: That’s no way to run a business.

clientsfromhell:

Client: I want my email address to be info@golf.com.

Me: You don’t own golf.com. Your domain is [long domain name]golfcarts.com.

Client: Ok, then make it information@golf.com.

Me: The part of the email address after the “at” sign has to be [long domain name]golfcarts.com. You have to include [long domain name]golfcarts.com in your email address. 

Client: Oh! I get it, sorry. Make it [long domain name]carts@golf.com then.

Shades of blue

clientsfromhell:

Client: I don’t like that blue, make it a bit lighter. Just a small bit!

I send the (unchanged) file back to her.

Client: Hmm, ok thats too light, make it a bit darker.

I send the same file - again, unchanged.

Client: Ok just ad a hint of brightness and we’re done!

Again, same file, unchanged. 

Client: Perfect! Has anyone told you that you are amazing at what you do?